"Tell me where to go to be heard"

Listen. Think. Do something. This is too important.

I received this today from Astrid Heger and thought that she said it better than I ever could, and so, I am sharing her words with you:
Maria had driven to Tijuana with her mom, sister and little brother to buy a special dress for her aunts wedding. This was the most beautiful dress she had ever owned---no the most beautiful thing she had ever seen----and she hung it on a nail pounded into the wall of a garage in Bell Gardens that they called home. Every Sunday she tried on the dress---anxious for the time to pass when she could wear it to be in the wedding. But this past Sunday the dress had become too small, her mother could not fasten the small white buttons. Her mother rushed her to the emergency room fearing the worst----cancer. I was summoned to the Emergency room to evaluate Maria----She was sitting in the corner of the windowless exam room with tears running down her face. Her mother had fled the room leaving her to fend for herself. A tiny 10 year old she looked much younger than her age, and now dressed in a too-big dress handed down to her and wearing black Mary-Jane shoes and bright white socks she looked translucent---a shadow of the girl that might have been.
At age 10 she had just been told that she was pregnant. Pregnant by her father who had been raping her for over two years. We spoke and I comforted her---on examination we found her to be 16 weeks pregnant, and because she was so small her womb was now pushing down her vagina making intercourse impossible so her father had been raping her anally. Her sister when asked about whether the little brother had been sexually abused----said “No, he still laughs.”
So last night when the Republicans welcomed with thundering applause, a woman who believes that all abortions must be outlawed----my heart stopped in my chest at the very idea that we as a Nation would ever considered taking away the rights of women and children---my patients---raped, abused and violated in the most horrific ways. How careless we are with the lives and souls of those who are less fortunate.
I am moved to tears at the thought of the precipice that we are approaching. I could spend hours on poverty, loss of the medical class, no health care etc etc etc.----but sitting there that day in that stark, cold clinic room with a little girl whose only hope for survival was an abortion----I was glad to have that option. Of course I would love to see a time come when everyone knew to practice abstinence, or even birth control, or a time when rape and incest were words we did not understand and women had the right to say no and have someone hear her--but apparently none of these words---abstinence, birth control, rape or incest has penetrated the isolated, cold world of Gov. Palin.
Tell me where to go to be heard---I cannot believe that women across this country who understand what violence against women and children really means---will not stand up to be counted.
Astrid Heppenstall Heger, M.D. Executive Director Violence Intervention Program 1721 Griffin Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90031

I've never read a blog post that made me stand there frozen, unable to breathe, move, speak or even cry. I cut and pasted this exactly as it is from Meg Tilly's blog. I hope everyone reads this. My heart breaks for this girl. What can I do about it? Exercise my right to vote to make sure that the next little Maria, whose parents have failed her, has an option that may save her life? And even that may not be enough.

In Remembrance: Paul Epner

It is with the greatest sadness that I resume blogging: I want to write about a lovely, funny, creative person who died suddenly last month. Paul Epner was the father of Thalia's best friend from pre-school, and our friend too. I don't know the details of his death, only that it was sudden and that he left our world far too soon. My heart breaks for his family--his wonderful, gracious wife and his adorable daughter, and his extended family. Especially for his daughter, who is fatherless at the tender age of 6.

Paul was a middle school math teacher for many years, and for that he should have received a medal! I can only imagine how his students must feel, suddenly teacher-less in the middle of the school year. You got the sense that he really connected with the kids, because he wasn't going to talk down to them and they "got" his humor. He also wrote several books for children, which we are proud to own and will always treasure. He was always self-deprecating about his writing, but the books are real gems. Thalia adores them. I am rather partial to Paul's Herbert Hilligan series of books myself. Several of his books taught math to kids in a "fun" way.

Paul was great fun to talk to. You really couldn't have even the shortest conversation with him without laughing. He had a dry humor and an unusual take on the world around him. I'll miss talking to him!

I looked him up on the Internet today, and found his teacher bio on his school's website. It was uniquely "Paul-esque" and made me laugh out loud, of course. Here it is:

Epner, Paul
Mr. Epner's Story
Math Guru for team 6.3

Paul Epner was spawned from loving parents Marcia and Martin Epner on December 21, 1963. Hatched in a hospital in Yonkers, New York, Paul was the cutest and youngest of his 4 siblings. Even as a small child, Paul's proud parents realized he was a "gifted" child. His mom was over protective, while his father felt that the "gifted" label meant that he could put Paul in a box, wrap him up, seal with a bow, and "gift" to someone else. Growing up in a family of "overachievers" it soon become apparent to Paul's family that he had "super powers". He soon began flying at the speed of light, could leap tall buildings and was able to solve math problems in his head. As Paul grew up and became a more "portly" child, he lost his power to fly and leap tall buildings, though he once did leap over a bush and broke his arm, Paul retained his ability to solve math problems in his head. Realizing Paul had superhuman mathematical abilities, he enrolled in an elementary education program at UTSA, and in 1988 received his Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education. It did take two years extra for Paul to earn his degree, because Paul had a hard time understanding that a Bachelor's Degree referred to something other than his ability to remain single. However, Paul's insistence on carrying a lunchbox to all his college classes did not help Paul to become more attractive to the opposite gender. Only because of his father's large dowery to his future wife, was Paul able to marry and allow his father to get the empty nest he longed for since Paul graduated from college.
If anyone is interested in becoming a member of the Paul Epner fan club, operators are standing by. Due to the high volume of calls and e-mails from Paul's fans, it is sometimes up to 24 hours before he can respond to his adoring fans.
As for how Paul ranks the interest level of his fans, he assesses that 60%of their interest stems from the tests they put Paul through, and 40% of their interest is figured by how they treat him on a daily basis.
At this time Mr. Epner is tied up in a tour of talk shows and appearances throughout the United States, but he does try to make himself available for discussions and conferences from around 10:30-11:30 each day.
Your support is always appreciated and Mr. Epner loves to hear from his fans!

If you feel like getting help from your math textbook..... Check out this website and take a good look Tutorials, videos and other cool stuff..... Make math easier and not so tough. Don't be afraid, do it, I say...[website] will make your school day! Mr. Epner is here, he's the coolest of cool...... He will help all his students be successful in school. But you must always remember, put yourself to the test... I will always expect you, to do your absolute best!!!!!
Mr. Epner is here!

Paul once said in an interview: "In this world you've gotta find a passion in life. I love working with kids and I love to write, so I've found a special place." I hope he's found peace and another special place in Heaven.

The Sister Act

I don't have any sisters, and only one brother. He's great, but he's not female, and my entire life, I have always wished (in secret, and sometimes not-so-secret) that God had given me a sister as well. I've always felt a teensy bit envious of my friends who have sisters, someone to share/laugh/fight with in a way that I never could with a brother. After all, a brother is one of "them."

The entire time I was pregnant with my first child, I thought I was having a boy. Fast forward to the delivery room, April 2001, and I had a little girl! I was so happy that my secret wish to have a girl was fufilled so neatly and nicely, that I was even content with the idea of not having any more children, at least for a while! But we decided to have another one-- just one more!-- and this time, although I was more open to the thought of having a boy, deep down I wanted yet another girl! My older daughter could have the sister that I never had and always wanted. And in May 2004 my wish was granted once again!

Last month, a cover article in Time Magazine was about 'Siblings' and the huge importance brothers and sisters have on who were are. As someone with a social science background, I found the article fascinating, especially since it quoted one of my favorite professors from my grad school days at UT! It also made me realize how blessed I am to have grown up with a sibling, albeit a brother (ha ha ha), and how truly blessed I am to have two little girls who are sisters to one another. Now I get to experience the 'sisterhood' that I never had as a child. Moreover, I actively encourage them to be each other's best friend, in a way that my own parents did not with my brother and me. Simply growing up in the same household doesn't ensure that siblings will grow close, so I knew from the moment I learned I was having a second daughter that I would want them from the beginning to always be there for each other.

showered, scrubbed, sweet-smelling, smiling sisters

Hooray for the Red, White & Blue! Carys & Thalia decorated our front walk with tiny flags on July 4th

I don't think I need to worry about it too much, however. Carys adores her big sister with an intensity that both amuses and shocks me. I think Carys actually thinks that she and Thalia are the same person! And Thalia is exactly what a big sister should be-- protective, loving, and after me and Dylan, Carys' most important teacher about the world around her. I just love to watch them interact with each other, sometimes a tiny bit jealous of their 'sister-ness'. I am filled with pride and joy and even relief that they are so loving towards each other. My Mom used to say all the time that my brother and I should love and appreciate each other because someday, all we'd have would be each other. That's not entirely true of course, since we go out into the world and marry and have families of our own, but your sibling is your special bond to your very beginnings. And somehow, the bond between sisters seem even more special. Dylan is an "only child", and I have noticed first-hand that the saddest thing of all when you're an only child is NOT the growing-up-without-siblings part, but being an adult in the world without siblings. Lucky me and my brother, and lucky Thalia and Carys to have the privilege of sharing our childhood with someone else who will be with us throughout our journey through life.