My Space

Out of roughly 37 posts in the past three years, I've posted about my kids/family four times; the rest have been about me or stuff I was thinking about. I had no idea what this blog would really be about, what direction I would take it in, when I started it. Clearly, it would seem that I forgot I even had a blog at times! A few months ago I decided that my family should have its own blog, and this one would be my "me-blog", my space all for myself.

The family blog has really flourished! My kids have known about it from the start, and they love to see themselves online(!), so they keep me blogging. The blog is family-friendly and mainly written and updated so our friends and family scattered everywhere can see pics of the girls as they grow and read funny little tidbits about our daily life.

My personal blog, as I now think of it in my head, is a little harder to define. I often have no idea what I should write about, especially now that the family and my kids have their own showcase elsewhere on the web. And perhaps that says alot right there about how I see myself. What am I besides a Mom and Wife, my "official" roles in life right now? Well, I also run a business on the side-- but wait, my company has its own blog too, in addition to a bonafide website run entirely by me, the very amateur webmaster!

About two years ago, I got a Facebook account due entirely to my teenage cousins who seemed to exist solely on Facebook. I knew no one else for a very long while on Facebook who wasn't in college, high school or just young! Now, everyone I know or have known is on Facebook. It's hit critical mass with the 35+ age group! And it's alot more fun now. I use to check my facebook account every few months, and then it became every week, and then a couple of times per week, and then daily, and now it's all day long. Facebook is great because it ties together all the different people I've known through all the different phases of my life--childhood friends, relatives, long-lost high school and college pals, ex-work colleagues and now Mom-friends.

My blog is kind of the opposite of my Facebook page, because there is no immediate social interaction going on. This is all about me, just me, and I have no idea if anyone reads this stuff or if I'm writing into the void. I know within seconds sometimes if someone has read my Facebook comment. I admit, I like the immediate gratification aspect of that! I can blog about anything, everything, often nothing, but there's no feedback. Now, I know there are bloggers out there who get dozens or hundreds of comments per post, to let them know how they're doing. I am not one of them! So sometimes, I feel like I'm just writing aimlessly, like a little tiny dinghy out in the big sea.

Even so, it's nice to have your own spaces in the world.

Blog Anyway

I have blogged so rarely that any readers I may have had here have probably decamped to better blogs! (I know I have!) And I have tried to explain to myself and others why I post so few entries: too busy, too tired, mediocre writer, etc. But one reason I've known deep down but haven't been able to articulate to myself or anyone else very well is that my daily life is pretty good and normal, and given the high drama of other blogs, "normal" is kind of boring to read about. Rather than a hip mommy-blog where someone's letting it all hang out about themselves and their families (photos included), I've self-edited myself over and over again and convinced myself that I've nothing interesting to say. And not only that, I was brought up with the "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all" rule--so I'm not going to bash anyone else I know (or don't know) just to have something to write about. I've just had this feeling that if I posted something every day, it would be something really prosaic and dull-ish. Proposed solution: get over it, embrace the "normal" and the "boring," and write about it anyway. And feel blessed that I have so little to complain about! Maybe there'll be too much sunshine and happiness in my blog, but so be it.

I started out thinking I would just blog about whatever came into my head on a given day, like the notebook journals I used to keep. But then I also realized quickly that I had to decide if I wanted this blog to be about ME, or if I wanted it to include my family members. (I've done a little bit of both kinds of blogging here.) My whole life is my family--leading, organizing, soothing, loving and also going insane at times. So I decided that because I spent my entire day being there for my family that I could have a space online that was just for and about me. But that's still hard to do when there are only 24 hours in a day and so much going on around me!

Perhaps ironically, I just launched, with my family's permission, a new family blog to chronicle our daily joys. With Four You Get Eggroll is about the 4 of us, not just me. I recently decided that I might be a better blogger if I wrote about my life with my spouse and kids, instead of it being just all about me! And I wanted someplace to post our favorite photos and favorite things (at the moment). The girls are thrilled about it--they love to see themselves online!

I had just taken the plunge and posted twice at our new family blogsite when I checked on one of favorite blogs yesterday. Mrs. G (which must stand for Mrs. Genius!) at Derwad Manor writes about herself and her loved ones with great honesty and humor and integrity. Her post responds to an earlier one a few days ago, but really speaks to something I'm going to have to think about alot more now that we have a family blog: how to maintain the fine line between sharing the good and funny about family life and sharing waaay too much. She writes from the heart and her blog backs her up in that she never belittles or reveals too much of her family. Her particular post from yesterday, simply entitled "Tired" is a great reminder to all of us who seek to blog about our kids, marriage and families to also seek balance.

So once again, I'm renewing my dedication to filling up my blogs (all of them) with posts about me and us as we "get through this thing called life." Stay tuned!