Unexpected

My pink rose, five days later and still lovely.

On Monday, the dreariest and wettest day of this past week, I was forced to leave the warm cocoon of my home and drive myself to my mammogram appointment with my orders for my yearly screening (sort of like an early birthday present from my doctor--ha!). I had not visited this particular imaging center before; there are dozens of them all over town and I usually choose one that I'll be near on that particular day.

I dragged myself into the imaging center. It was surprising. Tasteful decor and comfy reception room furnishings and coffee and donuts too. It even smelled pretty in there. I was tempted to take a donut while filling out my paperwork, but I fought the temptation. After I was whisked into the changing room, which was also quite nice, I was given a pink gown to wear and told to wait in an anteroom with other ladies. There were lots of magazines, TV airing 'The View' (of course) and several space heaters to keep everyone comfy-cozy while waiting. You could even text or check messages because everyone was allowed to keep their phones and purses with them.

The procedure itself is pretty quick and painless, with just a little bit of squishing-squashing to get the correct images. Honestly, I dread the idea of the mammogram more than the event itself.

After getting dressed again, I followed the exit signs back to the reception area and passed a table filled with snacks (granola bars, candy, etc.) which I thought was a nice touch, but passed on a snack to go. As I left the office, I was handed a single pink rose and thanked by the receptionist for coming.

I put the rose to my nose and inhaled deeply. Roses rarely fail to deliver their sweet scent. I was truly surprised and completely delighted by my perfect pink rose and this amazing boutique imaging center for women. I know I smiled all the way out the door of the office and into my car. I drove away under an increasingly-ominous sky with my perfect pink rose in the seat next to me, a tiny bit of joy unexpected.

Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Birthday!

Well, it's been a long time since my last posting, for those 3 or so of you who may actually be reading this! hahaha I guess what unnerves me the most about the idea of blogging is that although this is basically just my diary or journal, someone else can read it! Not that someone actually will though. And there's my blogger's dilemma (I can't think of the appropriate word): in the back of your mind, you hope someone will read it, but at the same time wonder if anyone ever does and cringe at the thought of someone actually doing so!

Anyway, enough of that. I've been on holiday from my blog due to many time-wasting reasons, none actually being a good excuse for not writing though! I did endure rotator cuff shoulder surgery at the end of last year, and until 9 days ago, was locked into multiple visits per week to my physical therapists. It helped, then it didn't, then it got worse, and then I cried and demanded that my doctor take a look at my shoulder again! So now I'm off therapy for a couple of weeks but charged with the task of doing my therapy exercises by myself, which is even harder than going to therapy was! It is nice to get a break, however.

Overall, I've been really down since my shoulder started giving me trouble again. Ironically, it seemed to all start again the week of the ice storm, when we were all stuck in the house for 2 straight days, making it a 4 day weekend. I could feel my shoulder tightening up more and more each day, despite my faithful exercises. From then on, for about 2 more weeks, it was like a rubber band-- draconian therapy methods would "loosen it up" but within hours of returning leaving there, it would snap back into a tight knot. Ouch! I finally reached the point where it was loosened up enough th where I was no longer freaking out every other hour about it, and then I started feeling shooting pains up and down my entire arm, all the way to my finger tips. Now THAT really freaked me out as my right hand is my cake decorating hand! No messing around with that! I was very fortunate that 2 wks after the surgery, I was able to start decorating cakes again, with no effect on my shoulder at all. Now everything I did with my right arm was hurting like crazy! Like turning a doorknob, picking up a paring knife, driving my car, etc. Well, wouldn't you know it, my doctor says that too is normal; I've been 'deconditioned' and will have to endure all this until my arm strength is built up again. So all this and the rather unattractive weight gain in my arm (and everywhere else, really) has brought me down in the dumps of late. I feel like a page out of Dr. Seuss's My Many Colored Days. I mean, I knew having voluntary surgery wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but it has still exceeded my expectations of how long it would take to bounce back to the old me.

At the same time, Carys has been going to 5-day-a-week preschool at the JCC instead of just 2 days to accomodate my rigid therapy schedule, and she has really thrived since we switched her! Perhaps it's just a coincidence and being 2 3/4 yrs old now instead of a mere 24 months has something to do with it too. Her teachers have marveled at the transformation, and they are so loving towards her. Prior to the switch, she was always a little clingy in the mornings at the drop-off and was becoming very difficult in the 2-year-old way at home, but now she has really embraced having a predictable schedule surrounded by the same teachers and friends each day. I am a bit of a wreck about it emotionally-- I'm thrilled that she's thriving out there without me, but I'm sad as well not to have a 'baby' in the house with me every day, or at least part of the week. Knowing this is my last go-round with babyhood, it's even sadder for me when I see her toddle off confidently into the 2 yr old class each day.

I am 3 days into my 'new year', having celebrated my 36th birthday on March 8! Wow! I am officially 'old enough' to have a mammogram! Instead of a birthday card, I received written orders for a breast-squishing x-ray from my doctor! hahaha It made me laugh because Thalia is always asking, "When will be old enough to (walk to school by myself/drive a car/wear real jewels/etc.)?" Guess what I'm old enough for?! Cancer screenings! My actual birthday was nice, especially for a Thursday which is my busiest day usually. I had a manicure and pedicure in the morning, and my friend Anjali and her kids took me out to lunch at a charming Alamo Heights restaurant, Paloma Blanca, that I had not been to yet. I had a yummy mole, which I love. I even squeezed in 1 hour of shopping at the mall, where I picked up some shoes and makeup. There were lots of phone calls and emails and cards and even some gifts in the mail. Thalia's gift was probably the cutest-- she wrapped up a ball-point pen she found somewhere in the house during breakfast and presented it to me in bed. She was SO proud of herself! I sleepily told her I would save it for later (it may very well have been my only present from my family!), and when she got home from school, was very keen on my opening it, so I did, and she was just bursting with excitement! Oddly enough, I hadn't seen this particular purple pen in some time, so it really was a surprise! Dylan got me a card, which he wrote in while I was in the bathroom at the pizza place, next to Thalia's dance class, where we had dinner. No gift, but really, was I expecting one from him?! After all, I had bought a new pair of shoes that day, so that will be from him . . . ! Actually, he shocked me a bit at Valentine's Day by buying me a gift from Neiman-Marcus, not a store that he frequents. I don't know which was more surprising, the fact that he got me a gift, or that it came from NM!

I am going to try something new in future posts. This is all a huge experiment anyway, so look for something different coming up . . . !!!